


I'll Pretend My Heart's Not On Fire

by Hollyspacey



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Idiots in Love, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Romance, Smut, but with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 04:58:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3678465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollyspacey/pseuds/Hollyspacey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Phil have become a something, and neither one really knows what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is my very first Phil/Darcy story. I just love the two of them together, and you guys have already written some amazing stuff that further inspired me. When I started this, it was supposed to be maybe 2K words, but somehow along the way it grew fangs and became this monster, so I apologize in advance. Not AoS or CA:TWS compliant, because of reasons. Unbeta'd so please ignore any mistakes. And, as always, I own nothing other than an embarrassing amount of love for Marvel. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Oh, and you can find me on tumblr as hollyspacey. Feel free to come say hello! :)
> 
> Title is from 'Young Blood' by Norah Jones.

It all started in New Mexico, which for Darcy, was where everything seemed to start. She was just an ordinary girl, blissfully unaware of gods and other realms and then Thor dropped in and changed everything. To say Darcy was not a fan on Coulson in the beginning was an understatement. He was the man responsible for stealing Jane's research as well as her iPod, a truly despicable act that she swore would never be forgiven.

Perhaps part of her did hold a small grudge for that, but after spending some time with him, Darcy decided Agent Phil Coulson wasn't such a bad guy. Look, she even knew his first name was Phil! She would have bet money this wasn't something many people knew, all of the other agents called him Coulson, or simply, Agent. Of course, he didn't just tell her his name, Darcy was just the right brand of irritating and she hassled it out of him. She thought he was uptight and a stickler for the rules, for sure, but he had a snark that could match hers and every once in awhile she caught a look on his face that suggested underneath the perfectly pressed suits lay a man who actually had a sense of humor. Interesting.

Even more rare than these glimpses of mirth on the face of Phil Coulson were the glimpses of something else on his face. If she were pressed, Darcy would say that it almost looked like the good Agent was attracted to her. Yeah, right. He probably just had sand in his eye or something. This was New Mexico after all.

She was just pleased that she could get any sort of emotion out of him. Even though he was like, the _head_ jack-booted thug, he always made time to stop by the lab and check on Jane's research. Darcy wouldn't admit it, but she looked forward to these daily visits, a chance to battle wits and do some harmless flirting with the agent.

She'd be lying if she said the suits and ties didn't do it for her. Phil also wouldn't admit that he enjoyed stopping by the lab. His and Darcy's little interactions were a welcome change from his usual rigid schedule. Not to mention that she was a pretty girl, all soft curves and sharp tongue. Just his type.

Perhaps if circumstances were different, there could be something there, Phil sometimes thought. If they'd met in a normal way, if he were younger and not the SHIELD man he was, if she were interested, maybe things would be different. But Phil had learned long ago that things were as they were and wishing for a change didn't accomplish anything.

Phil and Darcy only saw each other on his visits to the lab until one day he stopped by to say hello and saw she was arguing with the agent on watch duty. She stomped around the lab, cursing under her breath as he hesitantly approached, "Is everything alright, Ms. Lewis?" She glared once at the other agent in the room and then whirled around to face Phil. "For the millionth time, it's Darcy, And no, everything is not alright. I am losing my mind stuck in this building. I want to go to Izzy's and get some real food, and our babysitter," Another glare at the agent, "He won't let me leave. I have cabin fever and if Jane or I eat another poptart, we'll probably die. I am literally going to walk down the street, get food and come back. He is keeping me here against my will!"

"That's his job, Ms. L-- Darcy. We are keeping you under our watch for your own good. I get that you are frustrated, but we are trying here."

"Phillip Coulson. Do not talk to me like I'm a child. I know why you're here, but c'mon, I am dying stuck in this lab." Darcy whined.

"Ok, let's go." Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, instantly suspicious, "What? Go where?" Phil motioned towards the door, "Izzy's. You said you wanted food, right? Let me escort you. That way you get to leave the lab safely and someone will be here to keep an eye on Jane." Darcy hesitated only a moment before grabbing her jacket and purse and running towards the door, "Ok, but you're buying!" Phil followed behind, trying not to laugh at her enthusiasm.

Darcy skipped and whirled down the sidewalk, overjoyed to simply be out of the lab. She thought she was being dramatic to prove a point but she actually really was dying for a change in scenery. Plus, she was gleeful that she'd gotten Phil to loosen up a bit and accompany her to the diner.

She didn't know then that this would be their last day together, that Phil would be reassigned the next day. Neither one knew it though, so they ate their lunch making idle chit-chat, and surprisingly, enjoying each other's company. After Phil left, Darcy found herself actually missing his visits. The other SHIELD agents were all dreadfully boring.

Luckily, it was only a few weeks later that Jane was invited to Tromso, dragging Darcy along with her. From there, they bounced around a bit, back to New Mexico for awhile, and then to London. Which was where that whole pesky space elf thing happened and little Darcy Lewis helped save the world. Again. No big deal.

It was after this that Tony Stark invited Thor to stay in his Tower in New York, only partially so he could lure Jane into the Tower too. He had a bit of a science boner for her.

Jane leaving for New York put Darcy in an interesting position. She didn't have to go along, but Tony graciously offered her an apartment beside Jane's and she so wasn't gonna pass on being put up by Tony freakin' Stark.

It was a few weeks after moving into the Tower when Darcy had innocently mentioned something about Phil, she found out the horrible news. Thor had seen Phil die at the hands of Loki. She felt a deep sadness that puzzled her a little. Sure, the fact that he was dead was horrible, but really Darcy barely knew him. It didn't make sense for his death to hit her so hard.

On any account, Darcy threw herself into life at the Tower. She loved meeting the Avengers and getting to know them not just as superheroes but as real people. She especially loved being around Thor, she'd missed the big guy. Slowly, Darcy became a fixture at the Tower. Everyone liked how normal she was and her energy brought something new to everyone's life.

Officially, she was still Jane's assistant, although once Jane hired two new assistants, actual physicists, Darcy was mostly her babysitter. Of course SHIELD was still all up in Jane's work so she also served as the unofficial liaison between Jane and SHIELD. So, when Maria Hill showed up in the lab with the request that Darcy come to SHIELD to interview for a job, Darcy wasn't too surprised. She still didn't trust the organization but she figured they were just going to have her continue what she was already doing, but maybe with a fancy new title and a steady paycheck. Darcy was not going to say no.

On the day of the interview, Darcy walked into the nondescript office building that housed SHIELD and was escorted upstairs by Maria Hill. Darcy liked Maria. She reminded her of Natasha, they both had that no-nonsense super intimidating bamf-y thing going for them. The elevator stopped on one of the floors near the top of the building and Darcy followed Maria out and down the hall, past a secretary and through a closed door. Darcy's eyes widened when she saw that the person she was meeting with wasn't some random PR person, but Nick Fury himself. Yikes.

She had met the Director once, he didn't like to visit the Tower any more than he had to, but she knew all about him. Tony hated him, Bruce didn't trust him, Natasha looked up to him, but they all respected him. So why in the world was Darcy here in his office? "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here." _Oh God, please don't let him be a mind reader_. Darcy cleared her throat, "Yeah. Well, I mean I know I'm here to talk about a job offer, but I didn't figure I'd be interviewing with you." Fury shook his head, "This isn't an interview. SHIELD doesn't really do interviews. We've found it's better to get a read on someone when they don't know they're being observed."

"Ok... You've been watching me? That's really creepy." Fury just smirked, "I know. But it's efficient. Now, Ms. Lewis, you've been on SHIELD's radar since New Mexico. You handled that situation quite well, and then afterwards you kept quiet. A quality we admire here." Darcy nodded, "Well, the endless pages of non-disclosure agreements threatening pain and death did wonders in keeping my mouth shut."

"That's why we have them," Fury smirked, "Still, you showed remarkable ability during the attack and after. Then there is the situation in London. Another case of you holding your own and putting your own life on the line for a greater good. And now you live in Stark Tower surrounded by the Avengers, and you are remarkably well-adjusted. It seems you are drawn to big dangerous things, Ms. Lewis."

She gave him a little shrug, "Yep, it feels like that sometimes. I like to think they are drawn to my sparkling wit."

"Be that as it may, it puts you in a unique position. You are not a part of the Avengers Initiative, but it would be hard to argue that you aren't connected to it in many ways." Darcy nodded, not entirely sure what was coming. "The Initiative has gotten bigger, taken on a life of it's own. It's outgrown what we thought it could be. So, we are creating a team to better support relations between SHIELD and the Avengers. The AIST, Avengers Initiative Support Team. This group would include actual agents of course, highly skilled to do recon and also to assist during fights, but we also need someone to act as a liasion of sorts between our people and the Avengers. We think that person should be you." Darcy sat there processing his words. "Wow. What exactly would the job entail?"

"That we'll have to play by ear, but basically making sure that relations between us and the Avengers are copacetic, ensuring both sides are on the same page and that we both have what we need. Luckily, you'll be working close with the leader of the AIST and he is quite competent and familiar with this type of thing." Darcy was reeling, "Who is that?"

At this, Fury got a shifty look on his face. "That's classified until you've agreed to take the job. And of course we will iron out the details later, but that's one of the reasons you are here today. Are you interested, Ms. Lewis?" Darcy didn't know what to think, "You're just offering me the job right now? What if I suck at it?"

"Believe me when I say you've been well vetted. I have full confidence you won't suck. The leader of this team specifically mentioned you when we were planning this. He also believes you could be a great asset to SHIELD." Darcy thought for a moment, she didn't want to be a lab assistant forever, and Natasha wouldn't have pushed her to agree to the interview when she'd mentioned it, if it wasn't a good thing. She gave a hesitant nod and a small smile to the man sitting across from her, "Ok, yeah. Why not. SHIELD already owns my soul anyway, I'm pretty sure. Still sort of confused why you picked me, but I'm in."

Fury nodded, "Good. I'm glad. Now for the other thing. Your boss, the man we've chosen to take over the AIST." Darcy waited, starting to feel slightly uneasy. "Yeah, who is it?" He paused, looking almost unsure, "Well, that's actually why you were brought here for this. The Avengers got a chance to see him earlier and it was... eventful to say the least." Darcy narrowed her eyes, suddenly very wary about who Fury was about to trot out as her boss, "Who is it?" Fury looked down at his folded hands laying on the desk, "I learned from earlier that just having him show up isn't the way to go. What I'm about to tell you is quite secret. Many within SHIELD don't know this yet, so even though the secret is technically out of the bag for all intents and purposes, we still don't want it announced from the rooftops." He paused, glancing up at Darcy until she nodded, before continuing, "As you are aware, Agent Phil Coulson died before the attack on New York, stabbed by Loki." Darcy blinked, "Yeah, and?"

"Well, he isn't exactly dead. The details are above your clearance level, but he is still very much alive." Darcy blinked. "Umm, what?"

Darcy would like to say that when Phil walked in the room that she was calm and quietly grateful he was still alive. She would love to say that she didn't slap him across the face before letting loose every single curse word she'd ever heard, including some inventive Asgardian ones that Thor had taught her. She would love to say that's how it went down, but with her luck, lightning would most definitely strike her down for telling such a lie.


	2. Chapter 2

Once she got over the massive shock of him being decidedly not dead, Darcy and Phil ended up working very closely with one another. Most of Darcy's work could be done outside of the office, so she was able to keep working as Jane's assistant, although she now had slightly fewer hours. After the first few weeks, however, it seemed as if the floodgates opened. Barely a day went by when she wasn't dragging herself to SHIELD headquarters for some meeting or another. Every once in while, when a new mission was being planned, a support agent or an Avenger or two would be present, but for the most part it was just her and Phil.

He was just as she'd remembered from New Mexico. On the outside, super professional, exactly what you'd expect from a top SHIELD agent. But as time went on, that other side came out too. He allowed her glimpses of the man beneath the serious exterior. She found that he had a spectacular sense of humor, a dry wit to match her own. He certainly kept Darcy on her toes, and she loved it. The hint of flirtation returned, too. Just little comments and little glances, but there was definitely something there. 

Phil was always so collected so Darcy started playing a game with herself just to see if she could make the good agent blush. It took awhile, but eventually she won. And all it took was a low-cut Captain America shirt. Darcy was sitting across from the desk from Phil, going over a requisition form when she noticed from the corner of her eye that Phil's attention was no longer on the paperwork between them. She glanced up quickly, and sure enough, he was staring at her chest. Gotcha. She stared at him, eyebrow raised, until he looked up at her. "Eyes up, Agent."

"I wasn't- that's not-" Darcy gave herself an internal high-five as Phil's neck turned a light pink. _Good job, girls_. Darcy smirked, "That's not, what?" He spoke quickly, "I wasn't staring at anything. I just noticed your necklace. Is that a spider?" Oh, ok. The necklace. The one that she wore nearly every day. And he, the super agent, was just now noticing it. Sure.

Darcy nodded, "It is a spider. Natasha gave it to me." That got his attention. "Natasha gave you a necklace?"

"Yeah, we're friends. I actually don't think she's ever had a girl friend before. It's kinda sweet, actually." Phil just shook his head, "You are something, Darcy." She grinned, "I'll take that as a compliment." Phil studied her a moment, "You absolutely should." Darcy took a moment to bask in the glow of a Phil Coulson compliment. It felt nice.  
  
Of course, working together as close as they did meant that they argued on a daily basis. They both had strong opinions about how things should be run, and even though she was technically on their payroll, Darcy held a deep-seated suspicion of all things SHIELD. This suspicion ran even deeper when the Avengers were involved. She felt that the most important part of her job was to not to let them be taken advantage of by SHIELD. That meant they were only to be called for real emergencies, not for any little task that needed completed.

So, when Darcy found out that SHIELD was planning a sting that would require half of the team, she wanted to know exactly what it was. Then when she found out, SHIELD was basically turning her team into a bunch of jack-booted thugs to steal some poor kid from Sweden's research, she stood her ground.

This wasn't a case of saving the world or preventing a catastrophe, this was a case of someone having something that SHIELD wanted, and them pulling out the big guns to get it. It was nothing more than playground intimidation and Darcy was not going to be a party to it. Naturally, this turned into a screaming match between her and Phil. He may have been the leader of the group, but she had the Avengers in her back pocket. They trusted her and her opinion would hold much more sway than anyone else's at SHIELD. Darcy straight up refused to bring in the team for this mission, and she felt that at the heart of things Phil probably agreed with her, but he simply was not one to disobey orders without serious cause. He wouldn't even discuss it with her, which fired her up even more.

As soon as she started her rant, he simply walked into his office as Darcy followed after him, closing the door behind her, "We are a team, Phil, you can't just make decisions like that and expect me to just go along with them!" He turned away from her and messed with some paperwork as if that might deter her, "Actually, I can. I am in charge here and I don't have to check in with you before I make a decision." Darcy glared at him, "You are such an idiot sometimes. These are our friends we are talking about. I know what they signed up for, and this isn't it. For them to go wandering all over Europe to do SHIELD's dirty work."

"Ms. Lewis, I am simply following orders." She stalked over to the desk where Phil was standing and poked him in the chest, punctuating the words coming out of her mouth. "Fuck SHIELD. Fuck your orders. And fuck you if you think I'm gonna let any of them get involved in something sketchy just so SHIELD can get a shiny new toy. They won't do it. I won't let them." Darcy could hear the frustration in Phil's voice, as it got deeper and louder, his agent voice. "You may not have a choice, Darcy. When you get an assignment, you are expected to go through with it and when you get an order, you are to follow it, no questions asked." Darcy got right in his face, looking straight up into his eyes, "Really, Phil? Is that how it is?" "Yes, it is." Darcy huffed, "Uh huh. What, are you gonna make me?"

Darcy didn't really register the tone her voice had taken until she noticed how Phil's eyes darkened. This was also the moment that she noticed just how close they were standing. Phil took a ragged breath, his voice deep for an altogether different reason. "Maybe I will."

That was the moment the floodgates opened, when every moment of harmless banter, every longing look, and every fierce argument came to a boiling point. Their lips crashed together, tongues clashing. It was a kiss that had a mind of its own.

Darcy grabbed his tie and pulled him forward just as he reached to the small of her back and lifted her against him. Phil ran his hands over Darcy's sides and back, then around to her breasts, thinking how every stray thought about her body had not prepared him for just how good she felt at his fingertips.

He slid a hand under her sweater and palmed her breast, feeling her nipple pebble up through the thin bra. He used his other hand to gently grab her hair, pulling her hair back so he could break the kiss and nibble along her jaw to her ear. The frantic sounds she was making were heavenly. Their frenzied movements seemed to still when Darcy reached down between them and ran her hand over the bulge in his pants.

Phil let out a groan and bucked his hips into her hand, "Eager aren't we?" Darcy chuckled, breathlessly. Phil slid a hand into the cup of her bra and pinched a nipple in response, "You have no idea."

Darcy sighed, "Then shut up and fuck me."

"Gladly, Ms. Lewis." They stopped talking at that point as they found better uses for their mouths; playful bites on necks, bruising kisses and moans of pleasure. He pushed her back until the back of her legs hit his desk, then lifted her to sit on the edge. He leaned forward, pressing his hips against hers so that she felt his hardness pressing against her soft heat. 

Darcy fumbled with his belt buckle and pants, finally loosening them enough to slide them down his hips and pull out his hard cock. She stroked it a few times, eliciting a strangled, "Darce." Phil reached down, flipped up her skirt, pulled her panties aside and ran his fingers up and down her cunt, feeling how wet he had made her. She gasped, and pulled him closer to her, whispering that she was on the pill and wrapping her legs around his hips. He positioned the head of his cock at her slick entrance before pushing in as deep as he could go. She let out a strangled, "Oh, fuck, Phil." as he began moving in and out of her. She grabbed his hair and bit along his jaw and neck, down to the collar of his dress shirt as he placed his hand back under her shirt to tweak her nipple.

He slammed his body into hers, spurred on by the chorus of moans and breathless curses falling from her mouth. As the chorus became more frenzied, Phil picked up his pace and it wasn't long before he felt her convulsing around him, a strangled gasp leaving her mouth as she came apart. Her orgasm pushed him over the edge, and he emptied himself inside of her.

They slumped against each other, foreheads touching, still fully clothed as they both came down from the excitement. Darcy let out a little laugh, "Well, that was unexpected." He gave a rough laugh, "I agree."

"If I'd known that was gonna happen, I'd have started arguing with you a long time ago." Phil snorted, "You've argued with me since the moment we met." Darcy nodded thoughtfully, "True. Either way, that was fun." Phil took a moment to compose himself before he stepped back from her and crossed into the bathroom to clean himself up.   
When he emerged, Darcy lifted an eyebrow at how he looked like normal, unruffled Phil.

As if he didn't just fuck her into his desk not five minutes before.

He walked to the window, looking for the first time, uncertain. "I'm sorry I allowed that to happen." Darcy gaped at him, "Umm, hello? I'm pretty sure I contributed to that happening a little too, dude." "Yes, but I'm your boss, and I'm old enough to know better. I should have stopped it." Darcy's first instinct was to argue with him, she was a willing participant and, sure, it was probably a terrible idea, but she and Phil were both too old to be playing the regret card. They were adults, best act like it.

Instead of calling him and their long-suffering sexual tension out, Darcy just nodded. "Let's just say that it happened, we were both to blame, and that's that. No need to make things weird." Phil nodded once, not meeting her eyes as he walked past her to the door. "Alright. Well, let's table this discussion for now. I am going to run down to logistics for a bit. Feel free to knock off early, I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Lewis." Way to be an ass, Phil.

Darcy rolled her eyes and headed to the bathroom to make herself presentable before heading back to the Tower. The last thing she needed was anyone asking why she was all rumpled. Not that they'd believe her if she told them.

The next morning, Darcy ran into Phil as he was entering his office. They both seemed to stop in their tracks when they spotted each other, Phil then resuming his movements too calmly, throwing out a casual "Good morning, Ms. Lewis." He seemed bent on pretending their little rendezvous had never happened. Which was fine, whatever. She would just avoid him until she didn't feel so weird around him.

But of course, Darcy had terrible luck. Which meant that just a few hours later she was seated directly across from the very man she least wanted to be around. She had a sneaking suspicion that their little tryst was going to cause some tension. And she was correct. The meeting was a debrief of a mission that Natasha and Clint had just returned from, informal, just a check in to see how the support team had done on their first foreign mission.

Darcy was sure it was an important meeting, but she couldn't help glancing at Phil and replaying certain parts of the previous evening. The way his hands had felt on her, the feeling of his body pressed to hers, the sound he made when he was coming. Ok, so not the time for this.

Darcy squeezed her thighs together and sat up straighter in her seat, picking up the closest paper she could find and scrutinizing it. Darcy hoped it just looked like she was super into the meeting and not fantasizing about her boss fucking her against his desk. Because that would totally be inappropriate.

Darcy forced herself to pay attention. She spoke when necessary, took notes, basically acted like nothing was wrong. Of course she had nothing on Phil's acting skills. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought she imagined the whole thing. He certainly wasn't giving anything away.

When the meeting ended, Natasha and Clint left, leaving Darcy and Phil alone together. Their eyes met, both wanting to say something, but unsure of what. After a long moment, Phil nodded at her and looked down at his paperwork. Darcy hurriedly gathered her notes and files and shoved them into her bag, leaving with a nervous, "Good meeting. Bye."

She walked to the elevator, pressing the button quickly in the hopes that no one would join her. No such luck. Just as the door was closing, a hand shot in. The door slid open and there stood Natasha, looking like the cat who ate alllll the canaries. _Uh oh_.

She stepped inside, looking straight ahead, too casual. The elevator closed and began descending.  "You and Phil had sex." Darcy's eyes widened and she whirled around, "What?"

"You and Phil had sex."

"I don't- I- Where did you get that idea?" Natasha just smirked, reaching out and stopping the elevator. "I am a spy, Darcy. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" Darcy began protesting, but stopped, slumping against the wall. "Was it that obvious?" Natasha gave her a look, "Yes. Not so obvious that Clint has any clue, but yes." Darcy sighed and shook her head, "Well thank God for small favors. If Clint knew I'd never hear the end of it." Natasha nodded and pressed the button to restart the elevator, "So?" She glanced at the redhead, "So what?"

"Oh come on. You think I don't want details?"

"Nat!"

She just shrugged, "What?" Darcy put her face in her hands, "Ugh, I'm so embarrassed." "There's no need to be embarrassed. You are both adults."

The door slid open and Natasha strode out, gesturing for Darcy to follow her. They walked the half block to Darcy's favorite coffee shop. They ordered and sat at a table near the back.

Natasha stirred her tea, "Details."

Darcy sighed, "Ok, so we were fighting-"

"As usual."

"Yes. We were fighting as usual and we were in each other's faces, and I don't know. Emotions were high, it just happened. Then after he's all, 'I'm sorry I allowed that to happen.' and he rushes out and now things are awkward and I'll probably be fired."

"Always so dramatic, Darcy. He is a man, he got scared. I really wouldn't worry about it. As I said, you are both adults. So, was it any good?" Darcy nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. It was pretty fucking fantastic. Like, really, really hot. So not what I would expect from Phil Coulson. Of course, if you ignore the fact that now things are awkward as hell."

"It will get better. When are you two going to do it again?"

"Oh no. That is so not happening again. He made it pretty clear that it was a mistake."

"How do you feel about it?" Darcy frowned, "Well, I mean obviously it can't happen again. He is my boss."

"You didn't answer my question." Darcy concentrated on sipping her coffee, "Sure I did."

"Ok, well answer this one. Do you want it to happen again?" Darcy sipped her tea, before shaking her head, "It doesn't matter because it isn't going to happen." Natasha would not let it go so easily, "But do you want it to?" Darcy lifted her shoulder, "I don't know. Maybe. Yes."

"Then seduce him."

"Natasha. No. Absolutely not. That is horrible advice."

Natasha smirked, "Why? You both obviously want it to happen again." Darcy gaped at her friend, "Umm, I don't think you were listening. He apologized. Then rushed out of the room. And he barely looked at me today. That doesn't exactly look like he's rushing for a repeat." Natasha pointed at herself, "Spy, Darcy. I can read people. That man is absolutely interested in a round two." Darcy thought for a moment, maybe Nat was on to something. "You think?"

"Oh, I know. Now drink up, let's get back to the Tower."

Darcy grinned, " I love you, Nat." Natasha just rolled her eyes and hid her grin, "I know. I love you too."  
  



	3. Chapter 3

It was bound to happen. Darcy knew the business her team was in. She knew just how dangerous it could be. So, when one of them got hurt during a fight, it shouldn't have surprised her. But it did.

She watched in horror as Clint was attacked by three of the flying mechanical creatures they were fighting, saw his arm broken. Saw him being stabbed. Once, twice, then she watched him tip over the edge of the building he was on. Just like that.

He fell and Darcy held her breath.

Thankfully, Thor was able to swing Mew-Mew around just in time to launch him up and catch Clint. The rest of the fight was a haze. When they all got back to the Tower, she was present enough to make sure that everyone was alright aside from some cuts and bruises, hugging them gratefully for coming back alive. She then rushed to the medical ward, praying that Clint would be okay.

He had become one of her best friends in the Tower, her prank partner and fellow Dog Cops fan. She waited nervously outside of his door, hoping for news on his condition. She was about to give up, when Phil walked by. "Darcy?" She stepped forward, "Phil, no one will tell me what's going on. Is he okay?" Phil waved on the agent he was walking with, "He's going to be fine. Pretty banged up, but believe me when I say he has been worse. Let me talk to the doctors, I'm sure they'll let you see him for a minute." She felt the tension drain from her. If Phil wasn't too concerned, she shouldn't be. "Thanks." He nodded and walked off.

Sure enough, a doctor came out a few minutes later to invite her back to see him. They'd just patched him up and pumped him full of drugs. Obviously he'd be in the medical ward a few more days, but on the whole he was going to be alright. She stepped in the room and looked at her friend, unconscious and attached to a machine.

A nasty feeling filled Darcy. She hated this. He could have been killed and all she could do was watch. Darcy finally forced herself to leave the medical ward. Clint was going to be ok, and there was no reason for her to be there. By that time, Natasha had been cleared from medical and had taken up Darcy's watch at his bedside, with a kiss on her forehead and a whispered word in Russian. Darcy never knew what she was saying when she did this, but she assumed it was something good.

She walked downstairs to her office to type up the battle reports. Before she knew it, she was all finished and it was after 3 a.m. Gathering up her paperwork and sliding it into her bag, she left headquarters to walk the few blocks down to her apartment. When she got to the door, however, she couldn't force herself to go in.

She was too keyed up, in too weird a mood, to go upstairs to her empty apartment, all alone. So, she found herself wandering the streets, fingering the taser in her pocket just in case.

It wasn't long before she felt herself pause, and she realized where her feet had unwittingly carried her. Phil's apartment.

She counted the windows over and saw that his light was on, and without any forethought, rang the bell to his apartment. She saw the curtains move as he looked down to see who was ringing him at that hour, Darcy just stepped back and waved.

Moments later, his voice came over the speaker, confused, but alert. "Darcy?"

"Hey, Phil. I just happened by and saw your light was on and I was going to drop off the paperwork from tonight." A pause. "Are you okay?" With a forced enthusiasm, she answered, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little shaken up is all. Couldn't sleep so I finished my reports. Sorry, I know it's late. Look, I'm just gonna go, I'll see you tomorrow." His voice stopped her, "No, Darcy. Come on up." The door buzzed and she pushed inside, entering the elevator and leaning against the wall.

Why was she here? She was trying to decipher her own motives for coming to the one place she shouldn't and trying to decide why exactly it was the one place she most wanted to be. The doors slid open and she stepped into the hall, finding Phil standing at his door waiting on her. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and Darcy paused, taking in the sight of a casual Phil Coulson. He motioned her inside and she entered, looking around at his apartment.

She'd been inside once, when she had accompanied him to pick up some paperwork he'd forgotten. She got the feeling not many people were invited inside his personal space and felt a thrill that this was her second time. Phil's apartment was exactly like him: neat, orderly but with tiny glimpses of a personality. The first time she'd been inside, Darcy had mocked him for what she called his nerd shrine, the bookshelf that held his books and action figures and Captain America memorabilia. He'd blushed but she could tell he was proud of his collection. She didn't blame him, it was impressive.

Tonight, however, she wasn't interested in geeking out over his stuff. She just stood in his living room, not meeting his eyes, pretending that her showing up on his doorstep at four in the morning was perfectly normal. Phil crossed the room to stand in front of her, "Hey, what's going on?" Darcy shrugged, "I just wanted to drop off my paperwork, that's all." Phil was not stupid enough to believe that, "Well, that's clearly not all. Did you get to see Clint?" She nodded, "Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way. They said he's gonna be ok." "He will be. Will you be okay, though?" Darcy looked up at him, "Me? Of course. I'm not the one who almost died tonight." Phil nodded, as if confirming something to himself. "So, you couldn't sleep?" "Well, I didn't try. I had to finish my reports and then I walked home but I just didn't want to be alone right now, I guess."

Her voice got small, "I shouldn't have come here, should I?"

"No, I'm glad you came, Darce. I couldn't sleep either, and I'd rather you not be alone if you're upset." She gave him a small smile.

"Not to alarm you though, Darcy, but you are covered in blood." Darcy looked down and gasped, "What the hell? Oh my gah, gross. I hugged Steve when he showed up and I guess it got all over me from him. Ugh."

Phil grabbed her elbow and steered her into his bedroom and to the bathroom, "Take a shower, get cleaned up and I'll fix you a drink." She paused, "Phil, you don't have to do this." He met her eyes in the mirror, "I know, just go. I'll set some clothes out for you." Darcy closed the door behind her and stood in Phil's bathroom. She looked in the mirror, shocked to see how disheveled and upset she looked. No wonder he offered her a shower.

She peeled off her gross clothes and balled them up in the corner and started the shower. She stood under the hottest water she could stand, trying to wash away the images of Clint being attacked. Forcing herself to take a few deep breaths, she felt herself begin to calm down. Probably not the best idea, because the absurdity of her standing in Phil Coulson's shower in the middle of the night hit her and she chuckled to herself. How was this her life? She washed her hair and picked up the bar of soap sitting on the ledge, taking in the clean, masculine smell that would forever make her think of Phil. She lathered up, some part of her glad that she would have his scent on her, somehow making her feel safe.

After using up a good bit of the building's hot water, Darcy stepped out of the shower and wrapped up in a towel. She walked to the door and peeked into the bedroom. It was empty and there was a small pile of neatly folded clothing on the bed. Darcy pulled on the oversized SHIELD shirt and drawstring pants and sat on Phil's bed, taking a moment before she had to walk out and explain herself to him. She wasn't sure what she was going to say. She couldn't even explain to herself why she'd come here.

A soft knock on the door caught her attention, "Are you decent?"

The man had literally been inside of her and he was still ever the gentleman.

"Yeah." Phil slowly opened the door and stood in the doorway, holding two glasses and pulling a bottle of whiskey from under his arm. He held it up, "Want a drink?" Darcy smiled and nodded and he walked over to his dresser where he poured the dark liquid into the glasses and handed her one. He leaned back against the dresser and they sat in silence, sipping their drinks.

Darcy looked down into her glass, frowning. "I don't know why I came here. I was just really upset, and I wasn't thinking, but I just wanted to say thanks for being so cool. I'm sure it's not every day a crazy, emotional, blood-covered girl shows up at your door in the middle of the night. So, yeah, thanks."

"Not every day no, it's more a weekly thing." He said with a grin. She rolled her eyes, "Shut up." They watched each other a moment, Phil's face turning serious, "I understand how you're feeling. It's hard seeing them get hurt."

"I just wasn't expecting for it to be like that. I mean, you know that what they do is so hard and dangerous, and deep down you know that they aren't invincible, but somehow seeing it is just different." Phil nodded, "I can't say it gets any easier, but after awhile you realize their limits. The panicky feeling goes away. That understanding of what they can and can't do and the realization that they are fighting for something they believe in, that's what makes it a little better." She looked down and nodded, "I know, and I know that it's silly to be worrying over fully grown people, who are like legit superheroes. I just wasn't expecting it to hit me like that."

"It was the first time seeing one of them hurt with your own eyes. Of course that was difficult. The first bad mission is always the worst. You know what I did after my first bad mission?" Darcy looked up at him expectantly, "It was supposed to be an easy in-and-out kinda thing. We were doing recon on a group in Brazil. Someone tipped them off and we were ambushed. My partner got shot about 10 feet away from me. I watched him die. I came home that night, drank entirely too much alcohol and put my fist through a wall. No other mission has been that bad. It made me question everything we were fighting for. And then after awhile I realized that what we were doing was important and that no matter how careful or well-trained we were, sometimes the bad guys would win. But that didn't mean that we should stop being the good guys."

Darcy nodded, thinking over what he said,  then smirked at him. "I can't imagine you punching a wall." Phil let out a rough laugh, "Yeah, even the robot Phil Coulson feels things sometimes." Darcy frowned, "That's not what I meant, Phil. We both know that's not true."

"I know that's not what you were saying, but it is true. I repress things so much that sometimes I'm not able to say what I want. For instance, I don't think I've ever told you just how proud I am of you. Even in New Mexico I saw how capable and strong you were, although you cover it up with sarcasm and faux ditziness. I like that." Darcy tried to hide a grin, "Thanks. Not everyone can see past the ditz. Helps weed out the kind of people I have no interest in having in my life." He smirked at her, "Does it work?" She made a face, "Usually. You seemed to have slipped in, though. Not sure how." He returned her smirk with one of his own. "Yeah, I guess you'll have to work on that." Darcy shrugged, "Ehh. You're not so bad, I guess." He gave her a shit-eating grin, "You guess?" Darcy nodded, "I mean, you are a pretty great guy, but I could do without the whole emotional repression thing."

She expected him to argue with her, but he just looked into his drink and nodded. So she took a leap and broached the subject they'd both been dancing around for weeks. "Not for everything of course, mostly the stuff dealing with me."

Phil went still, staring a hole into his glass. Ignoring everything in her screaming to leave it alone, she continued, "I mean, some acknowledgement that something happened between us would be nice. I'm not asking for a declaration of love or anything, but give me something. We had sex, we're adults. Not a big deal. Dancing around each other and pretending like it didn't happen is just so bizarre. It kinda makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I dreamt the whole thing, if it really happened at all."

Phil finally looked at her, a strange look on his face, "It really happened. It shouldn't have but it did. I am your boss, and I am nearly twice your age. I should have known better, been strong enough to stop. But I was weak. I wanted you and I wasn't able to step away before things went too far. And you're right, I had hoped ignoring it would make it as if it never happened. That was wrong, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I don't regret what happened. I regret that things have become awkward for us, but I don't regret what we did. It was pretty fantastic, actually." Phil smirked, "It was, wasn't it." Darcy nodded.

At that moment, Darcy heard her phone start cawing like a bird, "That's Clint!" She leapt up and ran to get her phone from the bathroom counter where she'd put it before her shower. She grabbed it and hopped back up on the bed, pulling up her message.

**\--Hey Darce. I'm still alive. Lucky you, still getting to look at this beautiful mug. P.S. Thanks for waiting by my bedside and watching me sleep. Did you pretend I was Cap and you were Coulson? ;)**

Darcy laughed out loud and opened the picture he'd sent. It was of him sitting in his hospital room, making what Darcy was sure he thought of as his sexy face. She just snorted and turned her phone around so Phil could see. "He even mentioned you, Phil." she said, giggling.

"What did he say?" She shook her head, biting her lip to try to hide her grin, "Nope, not telling." Phil held out his hand, "What? Tell me."

"I can't. It's classified. Sorry secret agent man." Phil just crossed his arms and glared at her. She just patted the bed beside her, "Aww. Don't be a baby. C'mere."

Phil sat beside her and she tilted the phone so he could read the message. "Really? When I said I watched him sleep, I meant that I was on duty, watching him. Nothing creepy! Why does everyone try to make it creepy? Can't a grown man be excited about meeting his childhood hero?"

Darcy just giggled, "It's ok, Steve does tend to bring out the creepy in people. Like, how is he a real person?" Phil just laughed, laying back and looking at the ceiling, "I still say it wasn't creepy. Let's call it enthusiasm."

"Sure. Enthusiasm. Sounds good." Darcy smirked.

She typed out a reply to Clint.

**\--Oh, yes. I am so lucky. If you were gone, I'd have to find some other nerd to hang out. P.S. I'm glad you're alive. P.P.S. I'm so telling Coulson what you said.**

Best not let Clint know she already had. That she was sitting inches from the man right now. He might get the wrong idea. Clint immediately responded with a scared face and three words:

**\--DON'T. YOU. DARE.**

Darcy smiled and lay back, mirroring Phil's position. "I'm so glad that he's ok." she said softly. She could feel her eyes welling up and felt the bed shift beside her. She looked over and Phil was leaning on one elbow, looking down at her. "He is going to be better than ok. Give him a week, he'll be crawling through the airvents, dropping things on people." Darcy laughed, feeling a tear slide out of her eye. "I know, he's pretty obnoxious."

Phil reached over and gently wiped away at the trail the tear had left. Darcy nuzzled her face into his hand. They sat in silence, looking at each other, Phil's hand gently cupping Darcy's face. "You are so beautiful, Darcy." Darcy felt her eyes widen. She had never heard Phil's voice so soft and so full of such reverence and for it to be directed at her was unexpected. It sounded like a confession. He traced his hand over her jaw and up her cheek, "You are just so beautiful. I can't tell you how often I've thought about you laying in my bed like you are right now. I wouldn't want to tell you how often. I already feel like a pervy old man." With a soft voice she responded, "I don't think you're pervy at all. Old, sure." He chuckled at her sly grin, "But if I'm being honest, I've imagined laying in your bed like this more times than I'd like to admit, too."

Their words hung heavy in the air. Phil ran his thumb over Darcy's lips and whispered her name. She reached up to touch his hand, holding it in her own before pressing her lips to his palm. Phil shifted his body closer to hers as she reached up and ran her fingers along his neck. She gently tugged down, all the sign he needed to shift his body on top of Darcy and place his lips against hers.

This kiss was the polar opposite of their first kiss. That one was all colliding and bruising and ferocity. This one was soft, gentle, full of emotions neither of them wanted to name. Their tongues danced against each other, fingertips gliding over each other's body.

Phil finally removed his hand from Darcy's face, dragging it down to gently hold her breast, kneading for a moment before continuing his descent down her body until he reached the waistband of her borrowed pants. He untied the drawstring one-handed and slid his hand down. He groaned when he realized she wasn't wearing underwear and her laughter ghosted across his lips. He ran his fingers along the tops of her thighs and up to her center.

He cupped her gently, whispering "We shouldn't be doing this." She arched up into his hand, gasping, "I know. So unprofessional. Let's not do this some more. Maybe with slightly less clothing." Phil just nipped at her neck as he slid a finger inside of her, feeling just how wet she was for him. He stroked her a few times before adding another finger. He ground the heel of his palm against her clit as he curled his fingers into her most sensitive spot. His hand fell into a rhythm as she arched upwards. He gently bit a trail down her neck, growling at the contented noises she was making.

When he felt her breathing quickening, he increased the pressure of his hand and it wasn't long before he felt her contracting around his fingers, letting out a breathy moan. As she caught her breath, she grinned up at him. "Can we try that whole naked thing now?" He let out a ragged laugh, "Yeah, I think that can be arranged."   
Darcy let Phil pull her up to a sitting position where she began tugging off his shirt. She ran her hand over the smattering of hair on his chest. Secret Agent Man was secretly built. Huh.

Phil was looking down at her as she examined him and she gave him a crooked smile before removing her hands from his torso and pulling off her borrowed shirt, before wiggling out of the pants. Phil looked down at her with a soft look in his eyes. "Darcy." He gently ran his hands over her sides and up to her breasts. His fingers found her nipples and he gently squeezed, enjoying the breathy moan she gave. He lowered his head, kissing a trail over her chest, down between her breasts before licking a line to her nipple. He swirled his tongue around as Darcy ran her fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands.

She was making soft noises of contentment, but then she tilted his face up and in a choked voice, "Not that I'm not enjoying this, because I so am. Like, a lot. But I'd really like you inside me now. Also, you're still wearing your pants, which is a real problem."

Phil chuckled, "Ooh, we're a bit impatient, aren't we?"

Darcy reached down and squeezed Phil through his pants, "You tell me. Now, pants. Off."

Phil stood up, yanking down his pants in a swift motion. Darcy bit her lip and smirked at him, "Who knew all those suits were hiding all of this?" Phil grinned mischieviously, "Every good agent needs a secret weapon." She arched her eyebrow, and motioned him towards her, "Uh huh, well bring that weapon over here, Agent."

Phil climbed onto the bed, shifting his body over Darcy's. He could feel her soft skin beneath him as he looked down into her eyes. Cupping the side of her face, he rubbed his thumb over her cheek, before kissing her again. Their bodies pressed together and he reached down to guide himself to her entrance.

He pushed inside of Darcy, staying still for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her around him. He began thrusting, picking up a steady rhythm. Darcy wrapped her legs around him, pulling him even deeper. He held her breast in his hand, rubbing her nipple with his thumb. They moved together, Darcy's breathy moans filling the room. Phil reached between them and rubbed his thumb around her clit, quickening his thrusts.

Darcy grabbed Phil's arms and tightened her grip as her breath grew frantic. Feeling her fall apart around him set off Phil's own orgasm. He slumped against Darcy and they held each other as their heartbeats slowed. "Don't run away this time." Darcy murmured against Phil's neck.

He shook his head, "No, no running. Besides nowhere to go. This is my apartment." Darcy pinched his side as he chuckled.

He pulled her against him, running his fingers through her hair, "This is nice." Darcy looked up at him, a faint smile on her face, "Yeah, it is." And it was. After the stress and fear Darcy had experienced today, this was exactly what she needed. To be wrapped in the arms of this particular man, physically sated and totally content. She didn't want to think of the implications of what it meant that in this moment she was happier than she'd been in a really long time. Didn't want to know why they'd fallen into this situation twice, didn't want to remember how badly he'd handled their first tryst, didn't want to contemplate what this meant for them, as friends, as coworkers, as possibly more. She just tucked her head into his neck and sighed a sigh of relief. It was late and she could think about this later. Just enjoy the moment, Darcy.

Phil's mind was also tripping over the night's events. The thought occured to him that if he could stop time at this very moment, he would not hesitate. He would spend an eternity with this woman in his arms, feeling her soft curves against him, smelling his soap on her, mixing with the scent that was all Darcy. He wasn't sure why she'd come here tonight, but he was glad that she did. Sure, tomorrow would probably be awkward, and at work things may be a bit strained, but this right now was perfection. As he lay on his bed tangled with Darcy, he heard her soft snores and smiled. He nuzzled his face against her hair and slowly drifted off into sleep.

They awoke a few hours later when Darcy's phone began ringing loudly. She groaned and tried burrowing even deeper against Phil as he softly said her name. Grumbling, she sat up, tangled in the sheets, and crawled to the edge of the bed where she lay back down and reached around for her phone, which had fallen to the floor sometime during the night.

"Jane. Elizabeth. Foster. This better be important." She sighed loudly and held the phone away from her ear, and Phil could hear Jane ranting on the other side. Darcy gave her a few minutes to get it out of her system and then pulled the phone back up, "Ok, calm down, crazy. What are you freaking out about? Slowly. And quietly, I just woke up." 

"Where are you? You didn't come home last night, no one seems to know where you are, JARVIS couldn't track your phone, and you didn't answer any of my messages. I've been worried sick!" 

"Oh, ok. I'm fine. I was asleep, I didn't hear your messages I guess. I'm sorry. I'm alive though, don't worry." Jane let out a breath, "Alright, good. Where are you?" Darcy paused, "Umm, I'm just out. It's not important. Do you need me to come in? Because I totally can, just give me like an hour or so."

Jane raised her suddenly suspicion-filled voice, "Darcy? Where are you? Why couldn't JARVIS track your phone?" Darcy glanced back at Phil, who was staring at her with a 'How are you gonna get out of this one?' smirk on his face. She glared back and kicked at him, Phil grabbing her foot and holding it. "Jane. I love you, and I know I am usually quite open about these things, but I am so not divulging the sordid details of my booty call at this time. Partially because he is sitting here staring at me right now."

Jane let out a little cough and Darcy continued, "As for why JARVIS couldn't track me, I've no clue. Maybe he understands the sanctity of a booty call. Who knows. But on that note I'm gonna have to hang up now, as I have plans to ravish this man one more time before I leave." Darcy grinned as Phil's eyes darkened and he began rubbing the ankle he was holding, "Yep, gotta go, Janey. See you in an hour. Maybe two. Love you."

Darcy ended the call and looked back at Phil, biting her lip. "Do you have something to do with why JARVIS couldn't track me here?" Phil pasted an innocent look on his face, "I have no idea what you're talking about. There's no possible way I could make my apartment untraceable to Stark's systems. It's just preposterous." He shot her a proud grin and Darcy laughed, "Oh my god, Phil Coulson. Forget the Avengers, _you_ are a real-life superhero."

"Well, I'm glad you think so. Now, what was that I heard about some ravishing going on?" Darcy pulled her foot away from him and crawled back up, throwing her leg over Phil and straddling him. "Oh, you heard that, did you?" Phil ran his hands up and down her naked body, "Yes, I believed you mentioned something about it."

Darcy grinned down at him as she slowly rocked her body against his, him rapidly hardening against her. She ground down into him and laughed when he groaned and bucked his hips up towards hers. She leaned down and kissed him quickly, before biting down along his neckline to his earlobe, "I have to go work. Join me for a shower?"  
  
When Darcy arrived at Stark Tower, she hurried up to her room to change out of Phil's borrowed clothes and into something of her own. For once, chance was on her side and she didn't run into anyone. She changed quickly, then headed up to the labs to do some work and hopefully avoid Jane's questioning.  
  



	4. Chapter 4

After their night together, it seemed as though something had shifted between Phil and Darcy. That awkwardness after their first time was nowhere to be found, but it was replaced with a sense of hesitancy on both of their parts.

The first time they'd had sex could have easily been written off as them giving into lust, pure and simple. It was clear, though, that their night together was so much more. They'd shown each other the secret, vulnerable places in themselves, made a connection that was more than just body parts rubbing together. So of course it was strange to move from that sort of intimacy to a place where they were just coworkers.

Their interactions weren't exactly awkward, just tenuous. They were able to talk and laugh together just as before, but that emotional link they'd forged was always tripping them up. Darcy would be talking to him about something one of the agents had done and he'd crack a joke and suddenly she'd be reminded of laying beside him in bed, laughing. Or, Phil would walk in and see Darcy typing away at her computer and he'd be struck by the urge to hold her in his arms and kiss her.

It was as if the intimacy of their night together had bled out into the rest of their lives. Neither one seemed to know what to do next. Obviously, they couldn't be together, Phil was technically her boss. Not to mention the fact that Phil thought he was much too old for Darcy, his job was too dangerous, and he felt he wasn't emotionally ready to be the man that Darcy would need. Darcy assumed that she too young, too immature, maybe even too irritating to be someone that Phil would want to be with.

Despite their doubts, there was a part in each of them that wanted to say, _to hell with it_ , to just go for it and try to be happy, in whatever way possible. But those parts seem to be in a losing battle against logic and, if they were both being honest, fear.

So they marched on, edging around the metaphorical elephant that seemed to follow them around. They acted normal and unruffled towards one another, when on the inside they were both violent with the urge to do more. To be more.

Darcy was with Jane when she got the text for the call to assemble. She tried calling Phil as she left for SHIELD headquarters to see what the problem was, but he wasn't answering. That was not like him, and Darcy felt the first trickle of fear run down her spine.

She eventually got herself patched into the team's comms and began ascertaining the situation. After she realized the skirmish was basically over she calmed down a bit. Well, until she asked if anyone knew where Phil was. She noted the hesitation in Steve's voice when he answered, "He's alright, Darce. He got hurt, but he's ok." That panicky sensation from the night Clint was hurt was back in her chest.

She walked calmly into SHIELD as Steve gave her the rundown of what had happened. There had been an attack on a SHIELD motorcade that Phil happened to be a part of. It was a shoddy attack, poorly planned and horribly executed, but people had still been hurt. Phil had been hurt.

Steve said he'd somehow snuck away from medical, but that he was probably going back to headquarters. Darcy hung up and strode through the lobby. When the elevator stopped on the floor where Phil's office was, she stepped out, only to stop when she saw him looking out of the bank of windows at the end of the hall.

Her voice was soft, so as not to startle him, "Phil?" He turned slowly, looking a bit dazed, "Darcy." She stepped forward and looked him over, he was dirty and bloody, covered in cuts and scrapes. She frowned, gingerly turning his chin so she could get a closer look. She reached down to grab his hand and tugged him after her, "Come with me." He followed her to the elevator where she pushed the button to the medical floor. The ride down was silent, Darcy looking ahead, clasping his hand tightly. The elevator dinged and they stepped out, Phil following her down the hall.

She pulled him into the exam room, closing the door behind them. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the first aid kit, and began assembling what she would need to fix him up.

She motioned for him to sit, glaring at him when he was about to protest. "I am fine, it's just a few scratches, that's all." Nevertheless, he did as she said and sat down. "Maybe, but you're still hurt. Stop trying to be so brave." He chuckled, "I am brave." A strange look passed over her face as she said in a small voice, "I know you are, Phil." 

The room was silent as she ministered to his wounds. He wasn't lying, everything was mostly superficial, but she made sure that every cut and scratch was cleaned and bandaged and softly brushed the dirt and grime away from the places she knew would bruise later. Finally, she gathered the first aid kit back up and walked over to the sink to wash her hands.

When she finished, she turned back and stood in front of him. He stood and looked down into her eyes, "Thank you," his voice thick. The adrenaline of almost dying was catching up to him and he couldn't stop the shake in his voice or the one coursing through his body. She nodded, "Just maybe don't almost die again anytime soon." 

"It wasn't that bad," he lied. She arched an eyebrow, "Steve told me about the car." Oh, yeah. The car. The one that had exploded right beside him. The car that, had he been a few feet closer, probably would have killed him. He let out a shaky sigh, "Yeah, it was bad. But I'm ok. And look on the bright side, I got to have a pretty girl bandage me up." She smiled and placed her hand on his chest, "Just don't do it again, ok? You don't have to nearly die to get this pretty girl to touch you." He chuckled softly, "I know. I won't." 

They stood in silence for a few moments, her gently rubbing circles on his chest and him looking down at her. "Thank you for taking care of me, Darce." She nodded, her hand pausing on his chest. She could hear the emotion in his voice. 

She was reminded of the night she'd shown up at his apartment, and how kind and gentle he'd been with her. He had nearly died in the line of duty countless times and he'd never had anyone there for him to take care of him, or simply to be there for him in the aftermath. She liked being that person for him. 

She pushed the thought out of her head, along with the implications of what she was about to do, and slowly ran her hand down his chest. She could her the sharp intake of his breath and she felt him tense slightly beneath her. When her hand reached the waistband of his pants, she tucked two fingers underneath it and finally looked into his eyes, and in a soft voice, said, "Tell me to stop." He had a tortured look in his eyes and he moved his hand to hold her wrist. 

She felt a small rush of sadness that he was finally going to put an end to this but he simply stroked the inside of her wrist before looking away, "I don't think I can." She moved closer to him, face so close to his, so that when he looked up their lips were nearly touching. Their eyes met and then somehow their lips met. 

It was gentle, but there was a ferocity running underneath it, a thank you to the universe that he was ok and that somehow the two of them were standing in this very room, touching each other in the exact way they were supposed to. Her body was pressed against his, fingers still hooked in the waistband of his pants. He ran his fingers through her hair and down her back while she cupped the back of his neck, her other hand not moving, knuckles resting on his abdomen. 

She could feel the energy flowing through him, she knew what it was like to have had such a close brush with death, how it could leave you untethered. She removed her hand from his neck and moved it down so she could undo his belt buckle, and then, his pants. 

Phil broke off the kiss to watch her before nuzzling her neck, kissing her pulse point. Once he was unbuttoned, Darcy turned her hand, palm flat on his belly and moved it down. She shimmied her fingers under his briefs and through the soft hair until she felt his hard, hot weight. She took him in her hand and squeezed gently. 

Phil groaned in her ear, "Bandaged me up just so you can kill me." Darcy smiled, "That was the plan." Darcy turned her head and brushed her lips against his before meeting his eyes. She was certain the desire she could see in his eyes were reflected back in hers. 

Never breaking eye contact, she slowly lowered herself down to her knees, unzipping his pants. "Darce," he gasped, "You don't have to do that." She just gave him a look, "I know. I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to." He nodded, knowing this was true. 

He had known Darcy for a long time, and in many different circumstances and no matter what, she was always true to herself. It was, in Phil's eyes, one of her most beautiful characteristics. 

He watched as she pulled his slacks down to his knees, cupping him through his briefs. Slowly, she lowered them and placed her hands directly on him. She gently stroked him a few times, looking up into his eyes. He felt his breathing grow ragged when she leaned forward and licked a neat line along his entire length, then sliding her lips over the tip of his cock. He could feel her tongue swirl around the head and then she moved her mouth further down, taking in as much of him as she could. 

She had one hand grasping his hip to keep herself steady as she moved her mouth up and down his length. The other was at the base of his shaft, gently squeezing and slowly twisting up to meet her mouth. She was hot and wet around him and he concentrated on how good it felt. He could feel himself getting close and she must have too, because she began to speed up the movement of her hand and began making these little humming noises that vbrated around him. 

Right as he was about to come, he let out a strangled, "Darce." Moments later, she felt hot liquid spurt into her throat and she swallowed. She made a few more gentle strokes and sat back, looking up at him. 

That peaceful look of contentment was back on his face. He reached down and pulled his briefs and pants back up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up into his arms so he could give her a soft kiss. He held her against him, her head on his chest, his hand gently caressing the side of her face, "Darce." It was just her name, but she he was saying much more than that. 

She slumped against him, feeling tears fill her eyes. _What were they doing?_

Phil heard her sniffle and lifted her chin with his hand. "Hey, what's wrong?" Darcy shook her head, "Nothing. I don't know. This. You. I can't seem to stay away from you. I don't want to. I think about you all the time, and it scares me." 

Phil felt a warmth in his chest at her words. It was exactly the way he felt. He wanted to repeat them back to her, plus many more, but he just held her. Eventually, Darcy sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Phil shook his head, "I'm not sorry you said it. I hope you know how special you are to me. This- it isn't easy for me, either. I just don't know if I can give you what you want." 

Darcy stiffened, she knew a rejection when she heard one. She nodded, then extracted herself from his arms. Phil looked at her in confusion. He wasn't sure what he'd said, but he knew it was the absolute wrong thing. She looked at him with a hardness in her eyes he'd never seen directed at him, "Phil, I love you, but you are such an asshole sometimes. I'm taking the day off." With that, she turned on her heel and strode out of the room. 

Phil stood there, unmoving. He had been trying to show Darcy that he wanted to be with her, but he couldn't. Wanted her to know all the reasons that it would never work out, not just the fact that he was her boss, but that he was not sure if he was capable of being the kind of man she needed. But, what he really wanted her to know was that he loved her, would do anything for her, and he felt like maybe he did a really crappy job of getting that point across. With a disappointed sigh, Phil left the exam room and headed to his office to get some work done. He needed a distraction. 

Darcy left SHIELD headquarters in a daze. It had been an emotional day. First, Phil getting hurt, then her spilling her heart out to him, only to be turned down. She was so stupid to have allowed herself to get attached like that. Maybe there was a tiny part of Phil that had feelings for her, but she wasn't the type to accept affection in tiny increments. She needed his whole heart, or nothing. And it looked like she was getting the nothing.

Darcy arrived at her apartment, peeling off her clothes in favor of her pajamas, grabbing a carton of ice cream and turning on Netflix. She returned Jane's messages, assuring her that she was fine and that everyone had come out of today unscathed. Except for her, but she didn't want Jane to worry or feel like she had to come over. Darcy just wanted to be alone for awhile. She wanted to play out every cliche of a heartbroken woman until she felt better. So, she did. She cried into her ice cream while she watched Bridget Jones's Diary, wishing for her own Colin Firth to come sweep her off her feet.   
Her experience with British men (see: Ian the Intern) was nothing like Bridget's unfortunately. She sighed, _Ok, no more rom-coms Darce. You are just moping, and that solves nothing._ She queued up some Dog Cops and decided to forget about a certain agent she knew. 

A few episodes later, she heard a knock on her door. She grabbed her taser and crept over to look through the peephole. Phil. Of course. "What do you want?" she asked through the door. She watched him shuffle his feet and look at the peephole, "Can I come in, Darcy? We need to talk." 

"I think we said plenty earlier today." He shook his head, a frustrated look on his face, "Ok, I need to talk. I don't think I explained myself very well today." She huffed a sad laugh, "Believe me, Phil, you explained yourself perfectly." After a pause, he gave a soft, "Please." 

Knowing that it would only upset her and that she would most likely regret it later, Darcy opened the door and motioned Phil inside. He stood in her living room, like a lost little boy. He looked scared, and Darcy had never seen him scared. Even at his worst, Phil was completely confident and self-assured. Seeing him like this softened the hard anger she'd been carrying since this afternoon. "Ok, talk." 

Phil nodded and took a deep breath, "I mean what I said earlier. I don't know how to do this, and I'm pretty sure that I am not the kind of man you need. I mean, I could go on for hours about why this between us is a terrible idea. Believe me, I've thought of some very creative ways that this could end badly." Darcy began to protest but he held up his hands, "Let me finish. I have no doubt that their are a million reasons that we shouldn't be together, but the point I'm trying to make is that I don't care. I want to try. Whatever this is, and whatever it could be, I want it. I love you, Darcy Lewis and I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. If you'll have me, that is." 

He stared at her hesitantly, took in her widened eyes and open mouth. She blinked a few times and let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, "You want to be with me?" He nodded. "Like, for real." He laughed and nodded again, "Yes, like for real." She broke into a grin before launching herself into his arms, "Phil Coulson, you are an absolute idiot and I could not love you more." He held her, twin grin on his face, "Oh, Darce. You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that." 

She leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips before abruptly pulling back and glaring petulantly up at him, "Wait, I'm still very angry at you for earlier. You hurt my feelings." He reached out and stroked the side of her face, "I know. I'm an absolute idiot, remember? Let me make it up to you." She narrowed her eyes, "And just how are you gonna do that, secret agent man?" He stepped forward, glint in his eyes, "I have a few ideas." 

Darcy's eyes darkened as she stepped away from him. She turned and began walking towards her bedroom, throwing back a quick, devious grin as she took off her shirt and dropped it on the ground. Not stopping on her course, her voice drifted back to him, "I believe you owe me an orgasm, Agent." He groaned and followed her back. Whatever this was with her, Phil knew it would never be boring.


End file.
